sunday

Chris’s sister Laura likes to bring her little tykes over. A lot. Landon is, what 2 years old? and Koji is…not quite walking yet (1 year old?). I used to adore kids, especially toddlers, but after Landon and Koji, I think I don’t ever want kids…EVER. I used to be pretty tolerant of kids too. Screaming ones, on the airplane, in public spaces, you know, those kinds. The other day we were at lunch in a chinese restaurant when this kid starts to cry like none other. I wanted to go over there and slap some sense into the mom and kid. I can barely stand even having Landon and Koji in the same room. Well, Koji’s still in that stage where he doesn’t cause trouble and is still extremely cute. Landon on the other hand…oh my god.

And I’m super bitter because Chris’s nephews got me sick. Fucking kids.

Now honestly, how many online communities do we really need? Granted, Friendster and–and….what are those other ones?–are pretty inclusive, Orkut is exclusive. Just like Gmail, where you have to get an INVITATION to join (who ever thought of getting an invitation for an email account?), Orkut requires that current members send invitations to acquire new members.

orkut is unique, because it’s an organically growing network of trusted friends. That way we won’t grow too large, too quickly and everyone will have at least one person to vouch for them.

If you know someone who is a member of orkut, that person can invite you to join as well. If you don’t know an orkut member, wait a bit and most likely you soon will.

We look forward to having you as part of the orkut community.

This is like, the Hollywood of the Internet–VIP passes, passwords, the who’s who. Orkut claims that by merging with Google Accounts it is helping users be protected against fraud, privacy, and blah blah etc. I’m being reminded of those rich circles (Hollywood stars maybe?) who get special invitations to attend all these fashion shows, have backstage passes, special treatment, you know, the people with TONS of money and don’t know how to spend it. The kind of place where you have to be COOL enough to get an invitation. So will somebody please invite me into Orkut so I can be cool? Gosh, I already have a Google Account.

Today my boyfriend and I came to the realization that we’re getting old. He’ll be 24 in August and I’ll be 23 in July. All of sudden, it’s like, I can’t fuck around anymore. What? I have to be serious about my life? I’m finally working? Eh, yeah that’s weird. Personal growth has always been um, slow for me. Yeah I LOOK like I’m 16 and I act like I’m 12 (?, sometimes), but it’s that stage in my life where people judge you by our age and associate what you “should have” accomplished in your life by then. I can’t imagine people who are married by the time they’re 24. (I’m excluding people who are married by 20 because that’s just too weird for me.) I guess I’m still stuck in my little world where I’m still in grade school and everything is happy-go-lucky. Growing up sucks.

St. Valentine’s can go to hell.

Website, but pictures coming as soon as I move in. 10th floor, including a sweet ass fireplace :). Yeah it’s everything I wanted.

Yesterday I realized I was a liar. In that self-depracating way, I came to terms with myself that I did not want to be alone. For the past 10 years, I’ve been telling myself that I’d be okay dying alone, maybe even a virgin, although that last part went out the window sometime during college. Well, I’ve finally come to terms with my self-defense, my wall, that me telling myself I want to be single is a blatant lie. By no means am I ready to get married, but by no means do I want to be without…some one.

In general, I’m confused.

But on another note, I’m off to D.C. tomorrow for some house-hunting. Condo-hunting rather, to be accurate. And for those of you who don’t know yet, I’m moving to the East Coast for my job. Finally.

I awoke half-expecting an email, half expecting a long instant message. I figured it would be another verbal rant on why I am so melodramatic and, in his terms, make people feel like crap.

But I didn’t get an email. Or an instant message. There was nothing else to be said after I had shut him out again. I had ultimately achieved at making everything worse by not saying anything at all. And I probably deserved it. While tossing and turning in bed, I think I’ll be better the next morning and everything will return to normal. It rarely does in fact. How can he expect me to explain why I feel sad when I don’t even know the reason? Well, at least I’m out of bed again, wondering the same exact thing.

Maybe I’ll fall asleep thinking about swords and Edgar.

I came across this posting on my Google Desktop Web Clips…

$815 / 2br - Seeking SANE Roommate for Great 2BR Apt in Pentagon City
Reply to: pequod518@yahoo.com
Date: 2006-02-02, 12:50AM EST

….ok, heres the deal! I just bought a condo and need to replace myself in a really great 2 Bedroom Apt/1 Bath Apartment located in Pentagon City. Very spacious, balcony over-looking the park, two blocks walk to the metro, as well as pentagon city: irish pub, bally’s, starbuck, grocery, etc. My roommate is a great guy, despite cronic episodes of territs from 2yr law at GMU and drunk-enduced laments regarding recent loss of girl friend to Enrico! All of which, actually very ecomical entertainment - no cable required. ;-). The numbers: Rent for Lg Bedroom is 815 + 1/2 month deposite. All utilities are FREE, which includes electric, water, and free parking.

Available between 15 Feb to 1 March. If interested, please contact Ken at 202-528-7877, or via ktbah@hotmail.com or my crazy roommate at dckick1@yahoo.com