sunday

I have no idea why it shows up twice…

It’s that time again, or maybe my ADD is kicking in, but I’m going to change the theme of my blog. I started doing some research, and not only did I come across some cool themes, I also learned about magazine-style themes (for blogs), downloading from newsgroups (usenet), and how to pimp your myspace profile. That’s right folks. You heard me say it. I’ve finally found reason to sign up for a myspace account.

If anything, it’s for the sole purpose of hacking it and making it look completely non-myspace-ish. As one thing led to another, I found this guy’s myspace profile (from his flickr page, which came from his blog where I was looking at his WordPress theme gridlock–I’m not stalking anyone). He even has a little write-up on how he hacked his myspace profile and (omgz he even managed to hack his facebook profile!) mentions other noteworth non-myspace-looking myspace profiles.

Anyways, I’m excited, and my head is swimming in CSS and HTML right now…and I should be doing real work.

1. The Fanboy
   Disposition: Speaks mostly in lines from The Simpsons, Star Wars, Highlander, and Ghostbusters. Enjoys arguing about whether Batman or Boba Fett would win in a fight. (Batman.)
   Beliefs: The Force exists, but midi-chlorians are bullshit. Han shot first.
   Turn-Ons: Princess Leia in slave gear. Starbuck (male and female incarnations). Amazing Fantasy No. 15. Velour uniforms.
2. The Music Geek
   Disposition: Would be really happy to introduce you to music better than that overexposed crap you like. Always up for a show, but it’ll totally suck.
   Beliefs: MP3s are not as good as CDs, which are not as good as vinyl LPs, which are not as cool as wax cylinders. What your speaker cables are made of matters.
   Turn-Ons: A complete set of Sub Pop Singles Club 45s. VH1’s Behind the Music (hair metal only). 0.0 scores on Pitchfork. Vacuum tubes.
3. The Gamer
   Disposition: High DEX and INT scores, low CHA (thus, the lack of friends). Given to indecipherable insults (”I pwn3d u, n00b!”).
   Beliefs: The game Real World has a great physics engine, hi-res graphics, and convincing surround sound, but the learning curve is too steep. Girls should dress like Yuna in Final Fantasy.
   Turn-Ons: Spawn points. Haptic feedback. Pac-Man ringtones. Morgan Webb. Split-screen co-op.
4. The Gadget Guy
   Disposition: Sociable while waiting in line on launch day; ferocious in comments on Gizmodo. Seemingly unflappable in the face of early adopter’s remorse (aka Apple Newton Syndrome).
   Beliefs: I can fix that. There’s no god but MacGyver. The price will drop in a month, but I need it now.
   Turn-Ons: Unboxing videos. Backup batteries. Blue LEDs. Laser pointers. People who RTFM. Things that make loud clicking sounds.
5. The Hacker
   Disposition: Chronically crabby — then again, having such a superior intellect is a heavy burden. Paranoid tendencies.
   Beliefs: One shall stand, one shall fall. Sun allergy is a real condition. Cybersex: not utterly disgusting. Cory Doctorow is too soft on DRM. 2600 magazine has gotten too commercial.
   Turn-Ons: Trinity. l33t fluency. Narc-spotting at DefCon.
6. The Otaku
   Disposition: Alarmingly happy. Prefers to read right to left.
   Beliefs: Manga is a medium, not a genre. Furries aren’t loathsome. I can learn Japanese from Gundam. Lynn Minmay is the most annoying character in the history of anything. The next major anime release will be a box office hit in the West — this time for sure. It’s not all tentacle porn, OK?
   Turn-Ons: Tentacle porn. Dirty Larping. Dating sims. All things kawaii.

I’m starting to think Tony calls my phone just so he can talk to the automated lady on my voicemail. Unfortunately, as Tony said himself, he’s not an epic voicemail whore, so this one isn’t nearly as good as the first. But I’m gonna post it anyway because I still got a good chuckle out of it this morning.

Voicemail #2

friday night, around 2 a.m., i get a phone call from ming but didn’t answer because i was already on the phone (don’t ask). i checked the voicemail about two hours later (again, don’t ask), and this is what i got:

tony voicemail to cheryl

btw, this voicemail is EPIC.